This week’s question is a vulnerable one.
It comes from a few conversations I’ve had over the last few weeks.
Someone I recently placed is about to move to the other side of the world. They’re more than competent, they’re very compatible with the organisation, but they’re also willing to make real sacrifices to make it happen. That will include months apart from their young family while they start the role, before moving their family to another continent to create a new life for themselves. A long way from grandparents, their friends, their schools.
An exec is weighing up a huge opportunity overseas. It offers big money, a meaningful ‘build’ project, and even the potential of leaving a legacy to tell their future grandchildren about one day. But it would also mean two-thirds of the year away from home and from their family.
Someone else told me they’ve lived apart from their family for three years, and they can’t do it anymore. But they can’t find a role in their sport near their family, yet.
None of these stories are unusual, they won’t be unusual in any high-pressure business or industry. In elite sport, sacrifices like these are very much the norm. There are many missed birthdays, school runs owned by someone else so other parents aren’t sure if you even exist, and a partner putting their own career on hold while you climb the sporting ladder.
But normal doesn’t mean the impact is numbed in any way, or that it deserves to remain unspoken and ignored.
The irony is that sport keeps a very particular and detailed ledger. We record everything from training load, body fat, revenue growth, fan engagement, wins, points, trophies, injuries, xG. But the hidden costs aren’t recorded.
Just look at the ultimate signs of success, the trophies and the names engraved on them. None of them are the people who made the sacrifices.
We’re all carrying something outside the job, because of the job. We rarely talk about it and this question isn’t about fixing it. Some sacrifices come with the privilege of working in this game. But it’s about seeing it. When a team knows what each person is carrying, something shifts. There’s more patience, more appreciation, and more connection. People stop feeling like they’re carrying it alone. I sure do!
Question 004
What are you carrying outside the job, because of the job?
This question could weigh heavy and you might prefer to hold it for self-reflection, but it could also open powerful conversations across your team, or even at home, if you’re prepared to listen to the answers.
Write down what the last seasons are costing you and the people closest to you, and try to include the parts you haven’t said out loud before.
Want to try it with your team? Get everyone to write theirs down and share them out loud. Share only what you’re comfortable with, and it’s important you don’t try to solve anything in the moment, listen and recognise it.
See you next week.